A package of toilet paper lying in the street after having been run over by a car tire.

Our Collective Memory Wiped Clean

Just four years ago this package of toilet paper could have fetched a premium online. Now it lies damaged and sullied in the gutter. How quickly we forget.

A box of Shinola Tan Wax Liquid

Just A Box Of Shit

Well, I guess you can just walk into the store and buy a box of shit now.

Twisted bent spoon

There Is No Spoon

I’m out for my nightly walk, and the last thing I need is a creepy little bald training monk jumping out of the bushes at me. I know he’s around here somewhere.

Mutant Blue Frog With A Pompadour

Mutant Blue Frog Has A Pompadour

No one is talking about this mutant blue frog’s pompadour, so I will. His name is The Big Hopper. It was either that or Buddy Polly-wog. It’s true that it has blue skin, but I want to know if anyone is working on a matching pair of suede shoes for him. He could wear them […]

Tax preparers to execute man

That Can’t Be Right

I misread “Texas Prepares” as “Tax Preparers” and it made the headline so much more unsettling.

Three assholes walking to their car in togas

Togassholes

One of my biggest peeves is people crowding me at the check stand. It’s one of the things I thought COVID might permanently solve, but just like all of the other COVID related paradigm shifts, it came back.

It Only Takes One

Sometimes I wonder if the internet’s democratization of everything is an entirely good thing.

urinal screen

Shit Jobs

I’ve done some bad jobs, but I’ve managed to avoid wet work so far.

We tried the Peel-A-pound 7 day cabage soup diet

Cabbage Soup Diet: My Life Changed In A Week

My friend Brian always says, when the student is ready, the teacher arrives. I’ve seen that quote play out in my life countless times, but never so much as when, on a whim, I decided to try my first diet.

Jar of beach sand

We’re All Out Of Ideas

This is just unabashed, late-stage capitalism. We’ve run out of ideas, but we still got to service that debt! It might be excusable to import sand to someplace like Nebraska where beach sand might be scarce. But this jar of sand is for sale at Lowe’s, just 20 miles from the beach, where you can […]

Smart Water bottle with a hole in the cap and a straw in the hole sitting on the wall of a planter

Not So Smart Water

I’ll never understand the selective laziness of the person who goes to the trouble to leave their house, buys a bottle of water, puts forth the effort to drill a hole in the cap of the bottle, and procures a bendy straw just to drink as much water as the bendy straw can reach. Then […]

My Evening With Gallagher

My Introduction To The Comedy Stylings of Mr. Leo Gallagher I guess I was about 14 the first time I saw Gallagher. My mom and I were visiting my brother in Colorado. The three of us and his girlfriend were sitting around the living room in their old, rundown, single-wide trailer when Gallagher’s “We Need […]

craigslist ad with 4 similar pianos listed for free

The Competition is Fierce

Imagine four different people all deciding to list their piano for free at the same time.

Assortment of gluten-free wine

Gluten-Free Wine List For Gluten-Free Wine Lovers

I know there is a lot of speculation that wine is generally gluten-free and safe for those afflicted with a sensitivity to wheat/gluten, but I’m not so sure. It should be safe being grapes, yeast, and sulfites, but it doesn’t always seem to be. Depending on who you ask, there are elements of the winemaking […]

How To Replace Mavic Air Arm: Easy DIY Guide

My DJI Mavic Air recently fell out of the sky quite unexpectedly. Its tumble to Earth left the left-rear motor smooshed and deformed and wouldn’t spin freely anymore. I didn’t even think to replace the whole arm on my Mavic Air initially. At first, I tried to see if I could simply replace the motor […]

Man raw doggin' it in a dentists chair

Dentist Made Me Rawdog It, Now I Have COVID (probably)

“He was working on other patients”? My sister asked in shock and disbelief when Bonnie, my wife, told her that I had made an emergency visit to the dentist. Apparently, her dentist is such a germaphobe that he doesn’t even shake hands let alone see more than one patient at a time during this interminable […]

Book with cover ripped off

Book With An Old Broken Binding Gets New Life

I don’t know the history of this book or even how we came to own it. The only thing I know about the book is that Bonnie’s niece borrowed it once. Then the little tart returned it in this sorry state. It wasn’t in mint condition when she took it but for fucks sake… So […]

A 2 year old blonde boy and an older man

My Adoption Story Is Unusual – Reunited After 22 Years

August 19, 2000, was a Saturday, 3 days after my 22nd birthday. I was prone to think about my adoption story and the family I never knew around this time of year but I wasn’t thinking about it at all that night. No, that night I had other things on my mind. I was a […]

Pizza bagel with pepperoni, pepperoncini, and cheese

Pizza Bagel – How To Make The Absolute Best Ever!

It’s not uncommon for me to eat the same thing every day. For the past 2.5 years, I have eaten 3 fried eggs and 2 pieces of sourdough toast with strawberry preserves for breakfast seven days a week. What can I say? When I find something I like I stick with it. My daily pizza […]

How to clean grease off your kitchen ceiling

How To Clean Grease Off Your Kitchen Ceiling

Prologue I made a video several years ago about cleaning grease and tobacco off a kitchen ceiling. The video demonstrated my process of cleaning a kitchen ceiling. It was not a tutorial about how to clean grease off your kitchen ceiling. But little did I know that the only thing that viewers of that video […]

2 white vinyl club chairs the one on the left clean and the one on the right dirty

How to Clean Vinyl Furniture Fast, Easy and Cheap

We made a video showing you how to clean vinyl furniture incase you learn better that way. In this post, we will teach you how to clean vinyl furniture the way the professionals do. It’s really easy and fast and it hardly costs anything at all. With this process, you can keep your vinyl furniture […]