Look at this fucking guy doing yoga at the beach with his little pet bird in a cage. It’s bad enough that everyone has become so fucking co-dependent that they have to take their fucking dogs with them every fucking place they go, but now we’re taking caged animals out with us, too?

Occasionally, a woman will come by and act interested in him and his bird. Only women, no men, have approached him. It’s so cute you bring your bird to the beach, I imagine them saying. I have no idea what they’re actually saying, but all parties involved seem to be enjoying themselves, so she’s probably not asking if he belongs here. 

What’s wrong with taking your caged bird to the beach? 

What’s not wrong about it? It’s fucking perverse. But birds like fresh air, too. Yeah, of course, birds like fresh air, everyone likes fresh air, but nobody likes breathing fresh air in a fucking cage. If you’re gonna keep an animal in a cage, then the least you can do is not remind it that there’s this whole outside world of freedom that they’re not privileged to.

Treat them the way a fucking casino treats gamblers: don’t remind them that there’s an outside that they’re missing out on. It’s like that cuck porn where the woman puts the guy’s dick in a cage and makes him watch a real man satisfy her. It’s fucking twisted to have to sit there in its cage and watch all these seagulls and crows and pelicans and all these other wild birds flying around doing laps over it, and it just has to sit there like a little cuck; a little cuck and it’s cuck cage.