It’s hard for me to focus under the best of circumstances. So, when people draw my attention away from what I’m trying to focus on, it’s extraordinarily frustrating. I’m not the most agreeable person in the world, but I’m not the kind of asshole who won’t help anyone either. I’m a different kind of asshole, but that’s another story.

This story is about my neighbor. Her husband was diagnosed with liver cancer about three years ago, and when his health declined to the point where he was no longer able to do the things around the house that he used to do, she started asking me for help. Now, I don’t mind helping out a neighbor, especially one as friendly as this one is, but I would prefer to help out my neighbors on my terms.

Yesterday was a particularly difficult day for my focus. A lady came by the house to buy something I had listed on Craigslist, and that gave me quite a big hit of dopamine, and I just wanted to sell more shit. There was no one to sell anything to, of course, so the point was moot, but my brain was in sales mode, so trying to sit down and focus on editing was a struggle. Just when I had come down off my sales high and might have had a shot at really finding my groove, my neighbor texted me to ask if I could help her install some motion lights around the outside of her house, and then that’s all I could think about.

She said, “Whenever it’s convenient for you,” but that doesn’t mean anything, does it?. First of all, that’s now on my to-do list. I no longer have an open calendar with no other tasks on it that will require my brain to shift gears from editing to something else. Now, I have something else tugging at my attention. Secondly, it’s never “whenever it’s convenient for you,” is it? They say that, and then the next thing you know, they’re texting and saying, “When do you think you’ll be over?”

So, it’s best just to get it over with as soon as possible. I mean it’s really best to just not form relationships, but second best is to just get needy people’s tasks done as quickly as possible. I texted her yesterday and told her I would come by today. Incredibly, I was able to focus quite a bit better today than yesterday, but it wasn’t for long. By noon, my commitment was nagging at my brain, and I broke down and went over. The job was super simple. I had the lights installed in under ten minutes.

That wasn’t the part I was dreading, though. I knew installing the lights would be easy. The part I was dreading was having to chit-chat afterward. That took about half an hour. Every second of it was painful, but I suppose it’s worth it to maintain neighborhood relations. After all, I have to live with these people, so it’s better to on good terms than to be at war like I was for the first 18 years of this century, but that is yet another story.