Author: Richard

Having spent his entire life feeling like an outsider, Richard has recently stopped trying to fit in and accepted that he is in fact an interloper in almost every situation in which he finds himself. To the average suburbanite, his habits bemuse, his interests bore, and his opinions repel. But you can read all about it here and decide for yourself.

Accidental Art

FortuARTous? SerendipARTy? We’ll figure it out.

Sparks flying from an angle grinder

Things Are Heating Up Now!

My garage makeover project hit a speed bump today. It was by no means insurmountable, but it may have doomed my welder to the discard pile.

My stainless steel mess tray

It’s The Simple Things

I’m not going to put things off anymore. I will probably continue to put people off, though.

A chocolate chip stuck to a cabinet

It Was One Of Those Days

How did the chocolate chip get stuck to the cabinet door? I wish I knew. It might make for a more interesting and satisfying post.

My garage at the end of today

Best Laid Plans…

I actually thought I was going to build a workbench today. πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ I should have known better.

The corner of my garage where my workbench used to be

I’m Going All In

After days of timidly testing the waters, I finally just jumped in head first. I’m tearing it all down and starting from scratch and I couldn’t be happier about it.

A Low-flow showerhead

Simplicity Simply Isn’t Simple

Stores are packed with so much shit, these days that there’s no room to pass another person in aisles, and yet, they never have what I’m looking for.

The detritus from the drawers in my garage piled on the table

And It Begins

So, I decided to let it all go. Now what?

A Man being sucked into a cosmic vortex

New Year, New Mindset: Facing Your Issues

Am I having an existential crisis? Am I a recovering hoarder? Is scraping unfinished projects running away from your problems? All of these questions and more won’t be answered in this post.

A goofy looking mannequin in a weird pose

Mannequin Puts The Man In Mannequin

I saw this goofy looking mannequin today, and it reminded me of all of the mannequins that have passed through my life over the years.

A man showing off his outfit-of-the-day

Resolutely Resolving My Resolutions

Today, I started a 365 day outfit-of-the day challenge. If you know me, you understand why that’s funny. If you don’t, you will.

A package of toilet paper lying in the street after having been run over by a car tire.

Our Collective Memory Wiped Clean

Just four years ago this package of toilet paper could have fetched a premium online. Now it lies damaged and sullied in the gutter. How quickly we forget.

A box of Shinola Tan Wax Liquid

Just A Box Of Shit

Well, I guess you can just walk into the store and buy a box of shit now.

Twisted bent spoon

There Is No Spoon

I’m out for my nightly walk, and the last thing I need is a creepy little bald training monk jumping out of the bushes at me. I know he’s around here somewhere.

Mutant Blue Frog With A Pompadour

Mutant Blue Frog Has A Pompadour

No one is talking about this mutant blue frog’s pompadour, so I will. His name is The Big Hopper. It was either that or Buddy Polly-wog. It’s true that it has blue skin, but I want to know if anyone is working on a matching pair of suede shoes for him. He could wear them […]

Tax preparers to execute man

That Can’t Be Right

I misread “Texas Prepares” as “Tax Preparers” and it made the headline so much more unsettling.

Three assholes walking to their car in togas

Togassholes

One of my biggest peeves is people crowding me at the check stand. It’s one of the things I thought COVID might permanently solve, but just like all of the other COVID related paradigm shifts, it came back.

It Only Takes One

Sometimes I wonder if the internet’s democratization of everything is an entirely good thing.

urinal screen

Shit Jobs

I’ve done some bad jobs, but I’ve managed to avoid wet work so far.

We tried the Peel-A-pound 7 day cabage soup diet

Cabbage Soup Diet: My Life Changed In A Week

My friend Brian always says, when the student is ready, the teacher arrives. I’ve seen that quote play out in my life countless times, but never so much as when, on a whim, I decided to try my first diet.