The right side of her face will never catch up.

If the after only tasted like the before, though.

1,000 words and all that.

I can’t believe it’s been 7 years since I posted that ⬆️ on Facebook.

It was two different cereals, too.

Hey! I didn’t get a Trumpf outta that guy.

I’ve been looking for this flyswatter for six years.

Seriously, what sort of thrill do they get?

You know, from A Christmas Story

To be clear, that “finally” was meant as loathing, not excitment.

Look at a calendar if you don’t believe me.

Or rather, I was.

But would anyone even notice one more asshole on the planet?

You can never go home again, Oatman, but I guess you can shop there.

If know what movie that’s from, you’re a special kind of dork.

I made my family disappear.

I don’t know how far she made it.

It’s basically the same picture I posted yesterday.

Are we sure we didn’t fast forward to Autumn?

That’s five years of daily journaling.

I never intended to title these posts like an episode of Mom, but that’s the way this weekend is going.

Nothing matters.

I started work on a sponsored video today.

I move it in as fast as I move it out.

Stuff, stuff and more stuff.

It saved my life. Well, at least my day.

It feels so good when effort pays off.

It should be an easy one, though.

Nothing can ever be easy.

The celebration seemed a bit reserved this year. I wonder why that could be?

But I still can’t walk normally.

I pulled a muscle in my leg because of my stupid mother-in-law.

It was weird.

I snapped this on my walk tonight.

I just might start flipping gym equipment.

It’s not exactly the one I’ve been looking for, but it’s close.

I was reminded today why I bailed on it years ago.

Yeah, DOWN to twelve hours. fml

It’s Bonnie’s birthday today.

It works, though.