April has been such an awful month for so many years that I’ve come to expect trouble every Spring, but we made it through this year unscathed!

His dinosaur ass just hanging out, peeping into my kitchen.

There was a riot on the streets.

And it’s not even my birthday or Christmas or anything.

I just don’t even know what to say about it.

Will they buzz my head, or is it a grade level crossing? I need a bit more information here, they didn’t cover that one in driver’s ed.

I mean, c’mon. Is that not the most Christopher Cross shit you ever saw?

The operative word being “like” because I only pretend to be a good neighbor.

When you start envying the lesser critters for their freedom, it might be time to make a change.

The music at the restaurant I just ate ate was louder than the wallpaper in their restroom.

Four hours of sleep and electrolyte depletion will kick your ass.

Lowe’s has a totally ruined pallet of cement on their shelves that they are trying to sell at full price. What is happening in this timeline?

There are a great many advantages to staying put.

It was a good Sunday. The kind that come around once every other month or so.

It also saves my back from a a lot of pain.

Let’s do the math.

I wonder what happened to the other two models.

I’ve broken so many mirrors so far this year, I couldn’t possibly outlive all the bad luck I’ve created for myself.

It’s so rare to see such a skinny man in my city, that I had to take a picture.

I feel like this angry tiki man.

Unfortunately, I can’t afford shades…yet.