We went for a walk after dinner, this evening, and we happened upon a shitload of baby geese, goslings, I believe they’re called. Now, I’ve seen videos of adult geese in a blind rage attacking innocent people just trying to go about their day. I particularly enjoy the one where the goose flies into the car with the woman just before she shuts the door. So, naturally, when we came across all of these geese with their offspring, I thought the odds of one of the big ones attacking were considerably higher than any other time.

Apart from some mild hissing, though, the adults didn’t seem bothered by us. What was far more terrifying were the babies. They moved like little dinosaurs. Sure, they’re cute and fluffy, but if I woke up from a nap in the park and saw a couple of dozen of these things coming my way, I would never be able to sleep again. I think they could pick my bones clean in a matter of minutes.