I don’t understand why checks still exist. In a time when everyone thinks that everyone is out to get ’em, you would think checks would be the first relic of 20th-century banking to go. They are a little piece of paper with everything a crook would need to steal your identity: Name, address, telephone number, driver’s license number, bank account number, and the name and address of your bank. Ask someone for their email address, though, and they act like you’re asking for DNA. It makes no sense, and yet, for whatever reason, checks keep hanging on, year after year.

I don’t get checks very often, just a few every year, so that’s probably why they seem like an even bigger pain in the ass than they used to. My parents are pretty hit-and-miss with birthdays and Christmas these days, but I can always expect a check at Thanksgiving for a turkey. Occasionally, I might also get a check to settle a class action lawsuit, but even those have mostly gone digital.

Back when I was a carpet cleaner, most of my clients paid by check, so I went to the bank every Friday. It was a hassle, but it was just part of my routine, so it wasn’t as big a deal as it seems now. Now, when I get a check, I go through the five stages of grief. Sure, I don’t have to go into a bank anymore, but it’s not like depositing a check with an app is instant and problem-free.

Maybe it’s just my bank, but every time I deposit a check with their app, I encounter some sort of error. The background isn’t the right color, it’s too dark, too light, the amount can’t be read by the software, or, like today, I didn’t write “Mobile Deposit Only” on the back of the check because the app told me I could check the box if there was one, and there was.

It’s petty, I know, but I see all of these little inefficiencies in the world, and I know we can do better; it just seems like no one wants to do better. Why doesn’t anyone want to do better? 😩