I saw my mother-in-law’s naked left tit this morning. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t asking. I didn’t consent. I was eye raped by wrinkly, over-ripe, pallid flesh. Now I can never unsee what I saw.

She parked her walker outside the bathroom and left her clothes on it. So, when she got out of the shower, instead of wrapping herself with a towel, to fetch her clothes, she just free-balled it, saggy tits blowing in the breeze of the fart fan, and snatched her clothes up off her walker.

I made it almost 26 years without ever seeing those sad, deflated balloons, so pale and bereft of life, you couldn’t tell where her titty ended and her nipple began. I was the only one in the house who had managed to escape making eye contact with that Trumpesque physique, but no more. I lost my innocence today. Life will never be the same. If you need me, I’ll be sitting on the floor of the shower, holding my knees and rocking under the painfully hot water.