This is my fourth time going to Sport Clips because I’ve been satisfied with the results despite a different person cutting my hair each time. I thought today might be my last haircut there, though. I sat down, and the girl asked me what I wanted to do with my hair, which surprised me a little because she printed out the receipt that showed what I did last time, and normally they ask if I want to do that again.

I told her I wanted a pomp, and she said, “What?” She asked again, and again I said, “A pomp.” She turned and began arranging her supplies, and then turned back and said, “I’m sorry, what do you want?”

“A pompadour,” I said, louder this time, unsure if the problem was that she couldn’t hear me over the sportscasters droning on on the TV behind her, or that she didn’t know what a pompadour was.

“Oh,” she said, not in a way that inspired confidence. She didn’t say it like, “Oh, 🤦‍♀️, of course, a pompadour.” It was more like, Oh, a pompadour?” Then, she picked up her phone and said, “I haven’t cut hair in a while.” Huh? I thought. You’re a child. You haven’t been here for a while. A while hasn’t elapsed since you left cosmetology school, so it certainly couldn’t have elapsed since you last cut hair.

She pulled up a picture of a pompadour, showed it to me, and asked if that was what I wanted. The man in the picture had a more modern, urban style of pompadour, but at least she was in the ballpark.

She cut my hair in almost total silence, which I appreciated, but also sort of resented. I was listening to the woman cutting the man’s hair next to me, and there was no pause in their conversation. Then, I thought back to the man in the chair before me, and how the girl cutting my hair talked to him for the entire 15 minutes that I sat in the waiting room until it was my turn. I realized that the same thing happened each of the other times I had my hair cut there, and I began to wonder if it was just me. Is there something about me that just shuts women up?

In the end, my haircut came out as good, if not better, than my previous cuts there, so I guess I’ll be going back when the time comes. And even if they fuck up next time, at least I’ll be able to enjoy some peace and quiet for a few minutes.