No, obviously, I didn’t get raptured today. Who do you think took that picture and wrote this post, dumbass? Wouldn’t it be great, though, if there were a rapture that took all of the Christians away? It would be like a party where a handful of people were being lame and killing the vibes for everyone else, and then they left, allowing everyone to relax and enjoy themselves.

I mean, if there were real Christians, they could stay, because they would probably be really cool. It’s all of the fake King James Christians that suck. I’ve only ever known judgmental, two-faced, hypocritical, cafeteria Christians, and if they were all raptured out of existence here on Earth, that would be a good day.