I’ve always thought it would be fun to own an ice cream truck. I wouldn’t want to rely on selling ice cream for a living, but it would be a fun thing to do when the mood and opportunity align. This, on the other hand, holds absolutely no appeal to me, and I feel genuinely bad for this person.

They have been walking from one end of the beach to the other and back again for hours. I know from experience that that is one of the most miserable beaches to walk on, too. It gets tilled every day, so the sand is loose, so walking on it is like, well, walking on sand. Even the sand closer to the water line isn’t as packed as some other beaches.

To make matters worse, just a few yards behind is another ice cream vendor! How much ice cream do you expect this beach to eat this afternoon? The crazy thing is, I’ll bet the ice cream isn’t even that expensive. Not as expensive as it should be, anyway. In under ten minutes, everyone on this beach could walk over to the pier, where there are literally a dozen little restaurants with take-out windows that all serve ice cream.

These ice cream vendors should be charging a steep premium to any of these lazy assholes that can’t be bothered to go get their ice cream, but you know they wouldn’t pay $20 for an ice cream bar that was delivered to them on the beach.

Grinding and hustling to provide people with the convenience of having junk food delivered to them while they lounge on the sand has got to be a uniquely American thing. Maybe one day, they’ll sell enough ice cream to buy a boat, and then they can go out there and sell the floating class booze…and ice cream.