It’s kind of old news because I actually swapped out the bad capacitor, put the deck back together, and installed it in the rack yesterday, but it’s still exciting! Today, Bonnie sent me to the home of one of her company’s clients. An employee of the company damaged the client’s dining table, so she sent me out to see if I could fix it.

I probably could, but I’m not up for the challenge. The stakes are too high. This woman is highly attached to this table; it’s in pristine condition, save for the spot where someone placed a hot plate, or something, and my wood finishing skills are not up to par with what this table needs.

I suspected, just from the picture I saw, that the table had been regularly cleaned with Pledge, and the hot plate melted the wax, and I was correct, but there was more to it than that. I think the hot plate also released some moisture from the wood, which hydrogenated the melted wax, and when it cooled, it made these white spots that are suspended in the finish.

I hoped that I could emulsify the spot using the same wax that was on the table already, so I asked the client for it. She sent her caregiver all over the house looking for it. They had to look in four different places before they found it. The caregiver got a little snippy after the third place turned up nothing. “He should have something to clean it with,” She snapped. I explained to her what I was trying to do, and she calmed down a bit, but she seemed way too invested in this spot. I think she’s the guilty party.

I think the only thing that will fix it is to refinish the table, but like I said, I’m not up for that. The stress of trying to get the finish right might kill me. The stress of just going to the appointment today was too much. It felt like my days as a carpet cleaner. I was in a hurry to get to the appointment on time, but I was late. I was trying to gain the client’s trust and convey expertise, which admittedly is limited in the arena, all while trying not to get myself into any kind of trouble.

Even when I was a carpet cleaner, and I actually knew what I was doing, I still felt like I was going to be discovered as a fraud at any moment. It’s all in my head due to a lack of confidence, but that doesn’t make it any less stressful.

I was thinking today, after I left the appointment, how much I hate customer service. It’s kind of a shame because I’m actually quite good at it, if only because I’m working so hard at not making anyone mad or getting sued.

Contrasting this afternoon to yesterday, when I spent the day soldering and tinkering with my stereo system, I really do prefer not interacting with people. It’s hard for me to accept that because I’ve been told my whole life that I need to be social, make friends, and smile. What I’ve come to realize as I’ve gotten older, and really since COVID, is that that’s just not me. It never has been, and it never will be.

So, now, I have to figure out where this new me, which is really the old me, the me who I’ve always been, fits into the world.