I don’t know if I’ve written about the hole in my bathroom floor and wall in this blog, but I’ve had a hole in my bathroom floor and wall for over a year. I’ve been putting off repairing it because I don’t have money to remodel a bathroom and buy new flooring for the bathroom, bedroom, and living room – all of which were affected by the initial flood – and I just don’t know where to start. I’ve never done tile work before, and I don’t have enough tiles to replace the ones I broke when I opened up the wall. So, that poses a big problem, too.

Today, I used the multitool to remove the grout so I could pop out seven tiles. I managed to save three of them. I cut the hardboard and drywall back to a stud, so I can patch the hole in the wall. I feel like I moved the needle on this project slightly, but I still feel like I’m way over my head.

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I looked around and found this plastic fork. I folded the corner of the bag with the hole in it over itself and clipped it with the tines of the fork. Then, I popped it in the microwave and hoped the fork didn’t melt. To my great delight, it didn’t! My broccoli cooked perfectly, and dinner was saved. Yay me!

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This afternoon, I decided to remedy that by wiring the lights to be plugged into an outlet so that they will come on with the rest of the patio lights. The procedure was exceedingly simple and went far smoother than I anticipated.

I used an old variable voltage AC to DC power transformer that I picked up at that free sale last month. The lights previously ran on three AA batteries, which is 4.5 volts. As it happened, one of the settings on the transformer was 4.5 volts, so that was handy.

Besides the voltage settings, the tips on the end of the cord are also interchangeable. One of the tips is a standard 1/8″ TRS plug, and I happened to have a female 1/8″ TRS jack, so I drilled out the cork to accommodate the jack and wired up the lights.

Voila! Now, the lights come on with the rest of the patio lights.

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Then, yesterday, I got the idea to braze it. I’m not sure what made me think of brazing it, but while I was at Lowe’s yesterday, I picked up some brazing rod. This afternoon, I took my first crack at brazing aluminum, and it looks like it might work. I haven’t tried sitting on the chair yet because it was too hot, but the joints look okay.

Also, this morning, I installed the outlet boxes around the firepit. I don’t have outlets yet because Lowe’s didn’t have enough. I found a better deal on Amazon anyway. So, it was a productive weekend. Yay me!

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It Was A Day Like Any Other

I was working in the garage today, as is my life now, and I wanted to get a shot of the workbench while I was working, but I didn’t want the Insta360 One X to be in my other camera’s frame. So, I laid it, attached to a selfie stick, on top of my open garage door. As I placed it there, I thought to myself, you’re going to forget it’s there when you shut the door. And I did.

I pushed the button, and the garage door tossed the Insta360 One X onto my driveway. It was such a stupid and preventable mistake, too. I shouldn’t have put it on top of the garage door. I’ve done this a million times before with all sorts of different objects. What makes this incident even stupider is that there was no reason for the camera to be up there when I shut the door anyway. The SD card filled up a while ago. Since I was going inside as soon as I was done painting the shelf, I figured I would take the camera in then. I should have taken it down when I noticed it was no longer recording.

Now it’s toast. It’s destruction was epic. I just wish one of the four cameras in the vicinity had caught it. The garage camera caught some of it.

So, I guess this is the perfect excuse to buy a new Insta360. Too bad I can’t afford one right now.

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Free Harassment Training On Craigslist

At the top of the list, this morning was a Craigslist post that would fall neatly into the latter category. It was a simple post titled “ICE Hotline,” and the description just said, “Report the illegals.” There were two pictures in the ad: one of the ICE seal and another with ICE contact information. I’m not sure what the point of the ad was. Probably just to make the poster feel smug and sanctimonious.

Nothin’ Fer Nothin’

When I checked in later this evening, I saw a picture of a box fan sitting on four air filters. The ad was titled “Smoke Filter.” The description only said, “Free instructions to make very effective, hi volume filter for you home,” Why not just put the instructions in the ad? Why make it a whole thing where I have to reach out to you? Why not just fuck off and not bother making a Craigslist ad that no one is going to see anyway? Make a video and post it to TikTok or YouTube and let people who are looking for instructions for making an air filter find it.

Btw, I fully grasp the irony of me saying, “Why not just fuck off and not bother making an ad no one is going to see anyway?” while writing a blog post no one is going to see. I’m not pretending to be helpful, though.

“Get A Bucket And A Mop For That…”

These two Craigslist ads came on the heels of an ad I saw earlier this week. It’s a photo of a guy, standing in a bathroom holding a mop handle. The description reads, “I am a great home cleaner and go through a lot of mops. I switch to a new mop and have no need for this one.”

At first glance, it seems like a post about a mop handle. Weird, sure, but almost everything that people are giving away on Craigslist is weird. When you examine the picture a little more closely, however, you can see his cock bulging through his shorts. You can actually see the outline of his German army helmet and everything. The internet is a weird place.

I Didn’t Spend My Whole Day On Craigslist, Though

I painted the wall in my garage today. Most of the day was spent sanding the cabinets, drawers, and walls in my garage with the door closed because I didn’t want to deal with the wind blowing for the I-don’t-know-how-manyith-consecutive-day. It was a poor choice that I will pay for with my lungs when I’m older.

Today was the first day since I started this ridiculous garage remodeling project that I didn’t want to be out there. I just didn’t want to work on it anymore. I’m sick of it. The thought of sanding all of those drawers made me want to just put everything back and call it good enough. I persevered, and as usually happens, I discovered that it wasn’t as bad as I had built it up in my mind. It was actually really easy and went super quickly.

All my prep work is done, and all that is left is to paint everything. So, before I called it a day, I threw a coat of primer on the walls. I was hoping that seeing the plywood painted white would give me the burst of inspiration and motivation I needed to drive this project home. It didn’t. It looks like shit. The primer drew all of the lignans out of the wood, so the whole wall looks like a nursing home mattress, or maybe one you might find on the Craigslist free section. It will look better after I paint it… I hope.

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I know that sounds crazy. This whole thing is crazy. What’s even crazier is that I don’t even think the guy who collected all of those tools, fasteners, and whatever else is out there was who I really was. I don’t think that was me. I think I was just living a life that I fell into.

I’ve never had enough money to hire people to do things, so I’ve always done everything myself. I’ve always fixed my own cars, repaired my own plumbing, hell, I even replaced my own roof, and totally by myself, too.

When I want something, I seldom ever buy it new. I’ve never owned a new TV, and I think there are only two pieces of furniture in my house that I purchased new. I often build what I need or customize and modify second-hand things. It’s been my way of life since I was a kid, purely out of necessity. It wasn’t something I chose for myself. It’s only now, in middle age, that I’m realizing that I don’t want this way of life. I never did.

For Instance

I absolutely hate working on cars. I always have. The first time I worked on a car, I changed the brakes on my 1987 GMC Suburban. I hated every second of that experience. Despite that, I continued to work on my own cars for the next 25 years. My feelings about automotive repair never improved. I hate working on cars so much – and this is 100% serious – when I see someone working on a car outside of their house, I always think to myself, with the deepest sense of genuine gratitude, I’m so glad that’s not me. No joke, I really do that. Sometimes, I even say it out loud. That’s how much I hate working on cars.

Self-reliance is very en vogue right now. I think it’s a bit silly, to pretend we don’t live in a society with other people, but I also believe it’s important to be able to handle your shit without being a burden to the people around you. At the same time, though, I wonder what else I could have done with the three months I spent reroofing my house. I wonder what else I could have done with all of those countless hours, whole weekends, that I spent working on cars.

Last year, I spent weeks trying to repair a pipe that broke in the slab in my bathroom. It took me weeks to chisel out the concrete, find the right pipe, and track down tools and supplies. In the end, I ended up tagging in a plumber anyway. My only regret is that I didn’t start there. He was worth way more than the $500 he charged me. What could I have done with all of the time and money I spent trying, in vain, to fix the pipe myself?

This Old Dog Can Still Learn

I’ve learned my lesson. I will take as much time as necessary to rid my life of all of the superfluous distractions that prevent me from focusing 100% of my attention on the things that I am good at and that I enjoy. Life is too short, especially at my age, to waste a single second doing shit that I’m not good at and don’t enjoy.

The post Buying Other People’s Time Is A Priceless Investment appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

There was a time, not so long ago, that I used to be able to walk into a store, and walk out with a product. Now – and I fully recognize that Amazon is to blame – stores don’t sell anything. They’re filled with more shit than ever before, but they never have the thing I’m looking for, so I’m forced to go online and then wait at least two days for it to arrive. Lately, though, Amazon’s two-day shipping is total shit. Just this week, I ordered something on the sixth. It was supposed to be here on the eighth, but it didn’t arrive until the eleventh. It’s bad enough that I can’t get what I need when I need it, but now I can’t even count on it being here when they say it will.

The Saga Of My Showerhead

So, this morning, the showerhead was clogged up from years of hard water running through it. It could probably be cleaned with acid, but the gasket was knackered, so I decided to just replace the showerhead. I am very particular about everything, and my showerhead is no exception. I like the old low-flow showerheads that used to be ubiquitous in every cheap motel and apartment in the country. Mine is on the end of a handle attached to a hose. I like the high pressure. Plus, the showerhead is cheap and readily available – or rather, it used to be.

I went to Lowe’s to buy a new showerhead and was dismayed to find that they didn’t have one. They didn’t even have anything close to what I was looking for. I wasn’t surprised. I’m sure there’s far more profit in luxury showerheads with eight different settings than in a simple low-flow showerhead. I didn’t want a luxury showerhead, though. I wanted the showerhead that I’ve been using for the past 35 years.

So, I went to The Home Depot. They didn’t have one either, so we went to the shitty DIY store. They almost had what I was looking for. It was close enough, so I bought it, but that was three stores and an hour of my life that I’ll never get back.

Who Knew It Would Be This Hard?

While I was in each store, I looked at toolboxes to try to find a suitable replacement for my rollaway. There were endless plastic options available, but I want a metal toolbox. My only options for metal toolboxes in all three stores were giant rollaway tool chests, with one exception. Lowe’s had a classic Craftsman three-drawer toolbox. It was in a box, though, so I couldn’t open the drawers to feel the slides. Neither of the other two stores even had a cheap knockoff of that style of toolbox.

And Then It Hit Me

While I was walking down an aisle filled with plastic, stackable, modular toolboxes, I said to myself, I just want a simple, small, portable toolbox. Don’t they make such a thing anymore? And that’s when I had two revelations. The first was that this whole journey I’m on to clean out my garage and get rid of all of the excess is about simplifying my life. I had been circling around that idea, but I hadn’t been able to put my finger on it.

The second was that I’m the only one trying to do that. Simple is most definitely not en vogue right now, at least when it comes to tool storage, and that’s going to make simplifying my life anything but simple. When you’re swimming upstream, trying to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing, it can be nearly impossible to get shit done. The only notable exception is the stock market. In retail, however, there’s no room for originality.

That Time I Tried To Find A Sombrero Out Of Season

About 15 years ago, I wanted a sombrero for my Halloween costume, so we went to the local Halloween store, but they didn’t have any. So, we went to another, no dice. We went to a party store, a Mexican grocery, a Mexican liquor store, and even a Mexican party store, but there were no sombreros to be found anywhere. It wasn’t even so close to Halloween that everyone was sold out. They just didn’t have any. I don’t think I’ve been in a Halloween store since then and not seen a sombrero. Being out of step with the rest of the world has its advantages, but damn it if it isn’t frustrating at times.

So, while the rest of the world is seeking out complexity, I’ll be over here trying to simplify my life, to the chagrin of corporate America.

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I was in U-Haul today, renting a trailer, when a man walked in and asked the employee for an adapter to connect two hoses. The employee told him that they don’t sell that sort of thing because they’re a rental shop. The man looked around and then explained that someone at Harbor Freight said they didn’t have anything like that. “It’s for a water pump,” he said as if explaining what he needed the adapter for would jog something loose in the employee’s brain, and he would be suddenly able to produce it. The employee explained again that they were a rental shop and they didn’t sell stuff like that. The man turned around and began to peruse the merchandise as though he didn’t believe the clerk.

It annoyed me that the employee didn’t say, “This isn’t a hardware store.” That’s what I would have said. The world would function so much more effectively if everyone were direct and specific.

I Got Out Of The House Today!

I rented a trailer today to help Bonnie move some shit for work. We had to pick up a Hoyer Lift that her company found on the Nextdoor app. A Hoyer Lift, if you don’t know, is a sort of crane for lifting and moving people around. It looks like a sex swing but a very industrial-looking one designed by the Soviets.

It’s Not The Size That Counts

Once she got me into her office, she put me to work. JCAHO is coming soon, the file room had no lock on the door, so I changed the knob to a locking one. I wasn’t sure what I would need to change the lock, so I packed a basic toolbox. This was a pretrial for when I get rid of my rollaway. I might be able to get away with a much smaller toolbox than I previously thought. I don’t quite have the words to describe my excitement about that. I’ll get back to you on that one.

The star of the show was a 27-piece screwdriver set that I picked up at an estate sale many years ago. I’ve kept it around because I thought it was cool, but I’ve never used it until today because I wasn’t sure if it was any good. I’m sold! It’s 10 nut drivers, 10 Allen drivers, 2 Phillips, and 2 flat-head screwdrivers, a normal-sized handle, a shorty, and a T-bar. It’s got my bases covered for most jobs, and it takes up a fraction of the space that a set of 22 drivers would. It did exactly what I needed it to do today, so it stays.

I didn’t have everything I needed, though. I could have used a chisel or a jigsaw because the new doorknob didn’t quite fit into the existing hole. Fortunately, I always have my pocket knife on me, so I was able to carve just enough wood out of the way to get the knob in the hole.

We Don’t Need No Stinking Pickup

Next, I loaded two file cabinets into the trailer. You can talk all the shit you want about Tesla, but this is the best damn car I’ve ever driven. I ordered it with a tow hitch so I could put a bike rack on it. The fact that it can tow a trailer is just icing on the cake. It also ties into my current mindset of letting go and not keeping shit around “just in case.” I don’t need to own a pickup truck just in case I need to move something. I can rent a trailer. Being reminded of that will help me tremendously in the process of cleaning out my garage.

I Can’t Be Left Unsupervised

Bonnie and her coworker left me to get a client’s signature on some documents, so I hung out at the office by myself until they got back. I immediately began to regret not having any videos planned for an office setting. I could have taken advantage of this set. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, I racked my brain. I came up with an idea for a photo of a heated board meeting.

What Happened To Service?

When the ladies returned, we all left. Bonnie and I grabbed a bite to eat before we headed back home. Lots of things have changed since COVID, but I’ve realized lately that one of the major ones for me is that I no longer have patience for eating out. I can’t stand waiting around for someone to come take my drink order and then bring my drink. Then, I have to wait for them to come back and take my order, then wait for the food, and god forbid I might need anything after they bring my food. I’ll never see them again.

The worst, though, is waiting for the check. Why does it take so fucking long? I don’t remember it taking so long before COVID. Now, every time I go out to eat, it seems like I have to wait at least as long as I took to eat for them to bring the check, not to mention the time it takes for them to come back to get it.

So, I spent my Saturday working, but it was nice to get out of the house and focus on something other than my own neurosis. I got to test run my streamlined tool collection, I got a free meal, and I got to spend the day with my wife. All in all, I would have to say it was a, well, umm, actually pretty nice little Saturday.

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37 days. That’s how long it took me to replace this bathroom fan. Not because I’m not handy at DIY, but because bathroom fans are a pain in the ass. There is no standard. The duct faces right on some of them and left on others. Some of them have the electrical knockout on the same side as the duct. Others have it on the opposite side. Finding a fan that has the mounting bracket, electrical knockouts, and duct all in exactly the right place for your particular application is like finding a magical unicorn.

And if you are lucky enough to find one that works in your bathroom, don’t start celebrating. You’re not out of the woods yet. You still need to find a grill that covers the hole left by the old fan. As you can see, I haven’t succeeded there yet, but we have a light and a fan again for the first time in over a month, so I’m calling it a win and moving on with my life. Does everything have to be this difficult?

I’ve always relied on DIY out of necessity. I’ve never had enough money to pay others to do things for me. I still can’t afford to hire anyone to work on my house, but I don’t want to DIY either. I also don’t want to hustle more to be able to afford to pay others to do things for me. So, I’m stuck, spending my time doing shit I don’t want to do.

While fighting with this stupid fan this morning, debating whether to tag in an electrician, I was thinking about how money makes everything a luxury. Don’t want to mow your own lawn? Pay someone to do it for you. Enjoy lawn care? Spend the time and money to DIY and make your lawn look like a country club. I guess what I’m saying is that choices are a luxury, and nothing reminds me of the poor ones I’ve made, like not having any now.

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