It’s down to the wire at my mom’s house this week. They’re catching a plane at 6 p.m. tomorrow evening, so everything has to be out of the house by then. So, I was awoken by a text from her at six fucking twenty-four this morning asking if I could come help them move some shit out to the curb.

It wasn’t much and didn’t take very long, so when I was done, I went upstairs to my old childhood bedroom and recorded an ending to the video I’m making about growing up in that house. Before I left, my mom asked if there really wasn’t any chance of my coming to visit her in Hawai’i.

I’m not sure why she thought there was no chance I would visit her in Hawai’i; I never said anything of the sort. I think she may have been confused because when we were all over there a couple of weeks ago for a final swim, she asked my sister-in-law if they were going to visit and she said she didn’t think she would ever be able to get my brother on a plane after his last travel experience, and I happened to be standing right there, so maybe she had us confused, again.

Regardless, I told her it was unlikely. The expense of a trip to Hawai’i aside, we can’t go anywhere until Bonnie’s mom goes, and even then, we can’t take a week off work. She seemed very sad when I explained this to her. I think it only just occurred to her that we might never see each other again.

A fact that surprised me because I had the thought months ago when she first brought up her plan to live out her days in Hawai’i. When you move far away from your kids, you have to expect that it’s going to be a burden to them to travel to see you, especially when you move to the middle of the Pacific fucking Ocean for fucks sake. Her moving to Hawai’i doesn’t suddenly make me wealthy or put me in a position to take a vacation.

So, suffice it to say, I left her house with a heavy heart because assuming that I never end up making it to Hawai’i and she doesn’t come back here, this morning really was the last time we’ll ever see each other.

Unless she calls me tomorrow to ask me to help with something at the last minute, which is entirely possible, but then, that will be the last time we ever see each other. That certainly makes you think.