My next-door neighbors moved in about two years ago, and my favorite thing about them was that they didn’t have a dog. The previous three owners all had dogs, and one of them, like the neighbor behind me, had a shitty fucking French Bulldog.

Deep down, I knew it couldn’t last. They’re a young couple, and kids or a dog were inevitable. I suspect their new dog is a test to see how they like keeping shit alive before they committo a human baby. So far, it doesn’t seem to be going well. The fucking thing barks incessantly, and no one on the other side of the fence seems to do anything about it, or even be bothered by it.

The stupid fucking French Bulldog behind me barks when it hears anyone in any of the surrounding yards. The new dog next door just barks. Non-stop. All the time.

They keep it in a cage on the back lawn, and from what I can tell, it seems like they’re trying to get it to self-soothe, like a baby, but they’ve said recently, that you’re not even supposed to dothat with babies anymore, let alone the fact that it’s a dog, not a baby and at no point will this fucking thing ever bark itself to sleep. It’s a pack animal; it wants to be with its pack.

On Saturday, they had friends over, and left the fucking dog in its cage out back. It barked for hours, and no one, but Bonnie and me, seemed to be the slightest bit bothered. It’s been weeks, and the barking is not getting any better. I don’t know what they’re up to, or what we did to them, but something has to change because between the two dogs, we can’t even be in our own backyard.