The Piglet

So, I went to work on the video, and a few hours later, I got my first text. They were “interested” in the bandsaw. It could tell immediately that it was a scammer because he was texting me from an email address, but I played along. Our exchange went as follows:

benjamin_j001@outlook.com:
16″ Lobo Bandsaw. $250
Still available

Me:
It’s available

benjamin_j001@outlook.com:
I believe it’s in a great condition?

Me:
It is

benjamin_j001@outlook.com:
I’m okay with the price, I’m under medication and I’m not allowed to move around, please let me know if you accept a check payment?
And we’ll wait till it clears the bank before the pick up will take place, please let me know if this works for you?

Me:
A check? Are you calling from 1985? When you get back to 2025 give me a call and we’ll talk. Maybe by then you’ll be off your meds, able to move around and in a condition to operate a bandsaw.

benjamin_j001@outlook.com:
Your a bastard

Me:
*you’re

benjamin_j001@outlook.com:
You stupid piglet
Bastard dummy

Bonnie thought “Bastard dummy” was really funny. The scammers usually pounce on new listings, so hopefully I’ve cleared them all out, now.

The Pig

This afternoon, Bonnie’s mom – who is, incidentally, the most disgusting person I know – poured olive oil into the tray beneath the water dispenser in the refrigerator. Don’t worry, there’s video so you can see exactly what I mean. She wasn’t even at the fridge, she was on the other side of the kitchen making a sandwich when she suddenly decided that she needed to oil the fridge. She has the piece of bread in her hand the whole time. I let most of the weird and disgusting shit she does fly because it’s not worth the fight and it won’t change anything. I couldn’t let this one slide, though, I had to know what she was up to. So, I went into the kitchen and asked her why she poured olive oil in the fridge.

She thought the olive oil was vinegar, and vinegar will break up the lime scale. She told me this as if I know nothing about cleaning chemistry. I walked over to the sink to wash my bowl, and she pulled the napkin that I had just thrown away, out of the trash and used it to sop up the oil she poured all over the fridge. This is the shit that nobody sees. This is the shit that nobody understands. It’s like having a 250-pound toddler that is totally incapable of learning anything.

People will say that I’m unreasonable because she’s old and her brain is rotting, but she’s always been like this. She used to use a broom to sweep the carpet instead of using the Kirby vacuum that she paid $1,200 for. One day, I walked past the living room and saw her sweeping the carpet – the same carpet that my kids play on – and I lost it. It wasn’t just that she was sweeping the carpet, but that she had gone out to the garage and got the broom that I had just used a few hours earlier to sweep up rat shit in the shed out back. This was twenty years ago. She’s always been like this.

The Prestige

After the whole olive oil incident, I thought it would be nice to get out of the house for a bit. It was a beautiful day if not a little chilly. As I was walking along the arroyo, I heard a scuffle in the water. Two birds were entangled in either love or war, I couldn’t tell which. I watched them until the fight came to an abrupt end, but I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. One of the birds disappeared. It just vanished. I have no idea where it went. I went back and watched and rewatched the video over and over again, and I can’t see where the bird went.

So, yeah, it was a weird fucking day. I suppose it makes up for yesterday’s lack of anything interesting.

The post Well That Was A Weird Day appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

It’s strange to think that just a few weeks ago, I spent three days smashing concrete with a hammer. Hell, just at the beginning of this week I was out back wiring up electrical outlets. I’ve been inside so much the past few days, I almost forgot what fresh air feels like. I don’t think I know anyone whose days vary so wildly as mine. Of course, everyone I know has money, soooo….

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Now, you might be thinking that I’m feeling nostalgic for my childhood and those simpler days, but I’m not. I like knowing well in advance what the weather will be like on a given day. It allows me to plan my week. On Monday I installed and waterproofed all of the electrical around the firepit. I did my grocery shopping yesterday, so that I wouldn’t have to go out today or tomorrow. I also took some time yesterday to bring anything inside that might be damaged by rain. So, that freed up today to be an inside day. I had planned to do taxes today, but I got far enough with them last night to be sufficiently depressed for a good long while, so today was all about editing.

I haven’t spent a whole day editing in months, and today was no different. While I got some editing done, I also spent a good chunk of my afternoon cooking. I made noodles for lunch, and then baked a loaf of gluten-free, almost vegan banana bread. It was almost vegan because I tried to find a gluten-free recipe that didn’t call for eggs, not even thinking about the fact that the whole recipe would be vegan, but I didn’t want to bother with vegan butter, so I used real butter. Otherwise, I followed the recipe’s instructions. So, now I have a great big, beautiful, gluten and egg-free loaf of chocolate chip banana bread.

It was actually really tasty! Beginner’s luck?

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With the patio around the firepit as done as it’s going to get until the rocks settle, and the garage makeover as done as it’s going to get until I sell all of the shit out there, it’s time to move on to the next task which, unfortunately, is taxes. Normally I Ned Flanders the shit out of my tax return and start it before all of the W-2s, 1099s and other miscelaneous forms are in. I’ve been putting it off this year, though, mostly because I’ve been busy, but also out of a vague sense of dread. Bonnie’s W-2 looks like the woman in charge of payroll at her company may have made a mistake that might cost us a lot of money. I’m not sure yet.

So, that could be the other shoe. Or maybe it’s all of the bills I have to pay this week. Or maybe it’s something I don’t even know is headed my way. Time will tell. I’ll try to enjoy the calm in my life right now, but I’ll always have a weather eye on the horizon. Let’s just hope I’m looking at the right horizon.

Also, I got a haircut today.

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When I got home, I just parked my bike and trailer. I didn’t have time to unload it. Maybe tomorrow. I had other plans for today and spending an hour rooting through garbage wasn’t one of them. The outlets for the firepit arrived today, so I installed them this afternoon. Each of the four outlets got progressively harder than the previous until the final one shorted out on the box and I stripped one of the screw holes. It was well dark before I finally got them all installed.

The post It Was All Free Today! appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

Then, yesterday, I got the idea to braze it. I’m not sure what made me think of brazing it, but while I was at Lowe’s yesterday, I picked up some brazing rod. This afternoon, I took my first crack at brazing aluminum, and it looks like it might work. I haven’t tried sitting on the chair yet because it was too hot, but the joints look okay.

Also, this morning, I installed the outlet boxes around the firepit. I don’t have outlets yet because Lowe’s didn’t have enough. I found a better deal on Amazon anyway. So, it was a productive weekend. Yay me!

The post I Unlocked A New Skill Today And The Results Are Abrazing! appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

I found a whole section of old electronics. I found a rack mount patch panel, two old rack mount video selectors, and a rack mount power strip. I also found a large, hard case, with two metal power strips. I stopped looking for things when I was no longer able to carry everything. Bonnie found a few things too. She even found a little Manfrotto tripod for me.

When I carried all of this cool shit up to the front to check out, I was worried they were going to charge a premium for all of the electronics, but she just looked it over, asked me if there was anything in the case – I told her about the power strips – and then said, “How about $40 for everything?” That happened to be exactly how much cash I took out on the way to the sale. I had no problem handing both $20 bills over in exchange for all the cool shit I found. I can’t wait to play with all of it.

The post I Went Back… appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

The other reason I decided to check it out was because Friday sales are always the best. If you’ve got so much shit to sell that you don’t think one day will be enough time to sell it, and you choose a standard working day as one of your sale days, you’re probably going to make deals that benefit the buyer more than yourself.

So, I rode down there to see what it was about. All I took with me was a shopping bag because I wasn’t expecting to find anything of interest. When I saw the sale, I was certain I wouldn’t find anything if for no other reason than everything was in boxes and required a lot of digging. I hate that.

I’m not sure what their deal is, but everything they were selling looked like was estate sale leftovers. I suppose it could be storage auctions, too. The point is, the stuff wasn’t retail returns, it was old. The woman taking money said that tomorrow they would have new stuff, so I guess they have a continuous source of inventory.

When I arrived, there was an 18-wheeler attempting to back up to the loading dock, which was at an angle to the driveway. On any other day it might not have been any problem, but today the tables for the sale, and all of the customers were in the way. It took ages for him to back up. I heard a man say, “It’s time to go back to trucking school.” What a dick, I thought. Old men in this city are like that: Simultaneously, and equally ignorant and arrogant.

As I said before, I hate digging through boxes. If I see nothing but boxes at a garage sale, I won’t even stop. I did a lap through all of the aisles just to get a sense of the offerings, but nothing jumped out at me. Of course, my attention was split between the stuff in the boxes and the truck trying to squeeze by the tables with inches to spare. Once he finally made it to the loading dock, I was able to focus and that’s when I found some cassette tapes. I’ve been looking for some time, with no success, for jazz tapes. I didn’t find any today, but I did find some big band music, so I’m getting close.

Once I found those, I went back through to take a closer look through some of the boxes. I found some interesting things, but not interesting enough to buy. There were some old film slides, and 16mm film. There was also a box of porn on VHS. What I did find that was interesting enough to buy, though, was a 12′ stand for my green screen, and a VHS-C video camera that came in a nice bag and included an unopened VHS-C cassette tape and a used one. I hoped the used one might have home videos on it. It was a woman demonstrating a belly dance. The video camera doesn’t work, so that’s a bummer. Still, it was a good sale, and I might take Bonnie back tomorrow.

The post Ain’t Nothing Like A Friday Morning Junk Sale appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

It’s one of the funniest lines in a woefully underrated film; any film for that matter. The only other line from a movie that even comes close, is from Fool’s Gold. Anytime Bonnie drops anything – and I mean anything, anywhere – I’ll pick it up, hand it back to her and say, “Is this your (whatever the thing is)?” and then she replies, “You saved my life.” Another underrated movie.

R.I.P Gene Hackman.

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You can imagine my interest in expanding my menu, hence the sopes yesterday. The thing is, though, I’m also trying to avoid a whole bunch of time spent cooking. When I’m in the mood to cook, I don’t mind spending hours in the kitchen, but I’m not in the mood to cook every single day. So, I’ve been on the look out for foods that meet my dietary criteria, and can also be prepared in half an hour or less.

Bonnie and I both love this noodle recipe that I’ve been making for a couple of years. I think I wrote about it a few weeks ago – – yep, I did. I have to be in the mood to make it, though, because it takes so much time. The other thing is that I started making it because I wanted ramen, but it’s not ramen. I use Barilla gluten-free fettuccine. It’s just not the same. So, while I was walking through the store yesterday, I had an idea. What if I added a can of mixed veggies to a box of rice noodles?

The result was something closer to ramen, but there is much room for improvement. Had my local grocery store sold gluten-free ramen, I would have bought it, but rice noodles were the closest thing they had, and they weren’t great. The flavor was good, but it will take a few tries to perfect it. I seasoned the dish with salt, pepper, and garlic sauce, and I chopped up a green onion on top.

I’m going to order gluten-free ramen online, and try it again because the noodles were definitely the weakest link in this recipe.

In Other News

I made a bracket to hold this little stool, so that it has a place to live, and isn’t always leaning against something and falling over.

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