After the morning’s business was settled, Bonnie and I went to an estate sale that I really wanted to go to yesterday, but didn’t because it rained all day. I’m so glad I didn’t try to go in the rain after I saw the prices they were asking today. They had a lot of cool shit. The guy whose estate was being sold was an editor for Fox and a photographer, I guess. He had lots of lighting equipment and some high-end stereo equipment, too, including a Technics, rack-mountable tape deck. They were asking $250 for the tape deck, which is probably what they could get for it on eBay, but no one in this broke-ass town is going to pay that, although it I did, briefly, consider it.

We checked out a few more sales, all were duds, and then we ended up at JoAnn Fabrics so Bonnie could check out the store closing deals. People were going nuts over the discounts, but the store had better deals with coupons before they were closing. I picked up a set of sketching pencils because I want to try my hand at drawing. I tried when I was a kid, but I sucked because I didn’t have the patience and perspective necessary to convert what I saw to an image on paper. I think I can do it now. We’ll see.

The day sort of got derailed when Bonnie was trying to put away some spices we got as a Christmas gift from my mom, and we ended up spending two hours cleaning out cabinets and rearranging them. That was a project that’s been on my list for a long, long time, so I’m glad we finally crossed it off.

I made sopes for dinner, and we sat out back and ate while the neighbor’s stupid fucking French Bulldog serenaded us the whole fucking time. Just as we finished eating, our stupid fucking neighbors brought their stupid fucking dog inside. Fuckers.

It was a beautiful day that faded into a beautiful evening, if not a little cold, so we sat out back and lit a fire in our firepit for the first time since I finished laying the stones around it. Sitting around a fire just isn’t the same when you’re sober. It’s kind of boring.

When the fire burnt down, and we started getting cold, we went inside and played a couple of games of 301 where I threw this unlikely cluster.

It was a good Saturday.

The post Well, That Was A Busy And Productive Saturday appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

Free Harassment Training On Craigslist

At the top of the list, this morning was a Craigslist post that would fall neatly into the latter category. It was a simple post titled “ICE Hotline,” and the description just said, “Report the illegals.” There were two pictures in the ad: one of the ICE seal and another with ICE contact information. I’m not sure what the point of the ad was. Probably just to make the poster feel smug and sanctimonious.

Nothin’ Fer Nothin’

When I checked in later this evening, I saw a picture of a box fan sitting on four air filters. The ad was titled “Smoke Filter.” The description only said, “Free instructions to make very effective, hi volume filter for you home,” Why not just put the instructions in the ad? Why make it a whole thing where I have to reach out to you? Why not just fuck off and not bother making a Craigslist ad that no one is going to see anyway? Make a video and post it to TikTok or YouTube and let people who are looking for instructions for making an air filter find it.

Btw, I fully grasp the irony of me saying, “Why not just fuck off and not bother making an ad no one is going to see anyway?” while writing a blog post no one is going to see. I’m not pretending to be helpful, though.

“Get A Bucket And A Mop For That…”

These two Craigslist ads came on the heels of an ad I saw earlier this week. It’s a photo of a guy, standing in a bathroom holding a mop handle. The description reads, “I am a great home cleaner and go through a lot of mops. I switch to a new mop and have no need for this one.”

At first glance, it seems like a post about a mop handle. Weird, sure, but almost everything that people are giving away on Craigslist is weird. When you examine the picture a little more closely, however, you can see his cock bulging through his shorts. You can actually see the outline of his German army helmet and everything. The internet is a weird place.

I Didn’t Spend My Whole Day On Craigslist, Though

I painted the wall in my garage today. Most of the day was spent sanding the cabinets, drawers, and walls in my garage with the door closed because I didn’t want to deal with the wind blowing for the I-don’t-know-how-manyith-consecutive-day. It was a poor choice that I will pay for with my lungs when I’m older.

Today was the first day since I started this ridiculous garage remodeling project that I didn’t want to be out there. I just didn’t want to work on it anymore. I’m sick of it. The thought of sanding all of those drawers made me want to just put everything back and call it good enough. I persevered, and as usually happens, I discovered that it wasn’t as bad as I had built it up in my mind. It was actually really easy and went super quickly.

All my prep work is done, and all that is left is to paint everything. So, before I called it a day, I threw a coat of primer on the walls. I was hoping that seeing the plywood painted white would give me the burst of inspiration and motivation I needed to drive this project home. It didn’t. It looks like shit. The primer drew all of the lignans out of the wood, so the whole wall looks like a nursing home mattress, or maybe one you might find on the Craigslist free section. It will look better after I paint it… I hope.

The post The Craigslist Free Section Is Up To Shenannigans Today appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

Never mind that the Hughes fire was even further away than the Palisades fire or that the wind wasn’t blowing nearly as strongly as it was two weeks ago. It was upwind, and the smoke polluted the skies above us, so I could kind of understand the alarm. More so than two weeks ago, anyway. At least this time, there is evidence that a fire is burning somewhere.

The fact remains, however, that Simi Valley is in no real danger of burning. We’re not going to have hurricane-force winds like we did two weeks ago. The Santa Ana winds will blow like they do every year in mid-January through tomorrow, then they will subside, shift from the west, it’ll rain over the weekend, and then this fire season will finally officially be over. Then, we can focus our attention on the flooding and mudslides.

I just wish people would familiarize themselves with their surroundings, climate, weather patterns, and the natural rhythms of the place they live. It’s incredibly liberating. When you understand what is and is not a threat to your safety, it frees your mind to focus on what’s actually important. And then, I won’t have an endless stream of notifications from people asking if they need to evacuate from a fire burning 40 miles away.

The post Now, That’s Something To Take Note Of appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.

To read the posts on Nextdoor and Ring’s Neighbors app, you couldn’t be blamed for thinking that Simi Valley had descended into the seventh layer of Hell. It seems everyone in Simi desperately wants to be a part of the chaos and drama unfolding in Los Angeles. One woman asked if we could see the Palisades fire from here. Where the fuck does she think Pacific Palisades is in relation to us. wElL, iTs oNlY tHis fAr aWay oN tHe mAp .

Of course, the vast majority of posts were complaints, inquiries, and updates about the power outages all over town, but there are quite a few who seem to think that Simi is in grave danger of burning.

This Ain’t Those Fire Snakes From Super Mario Bros 3

Regarding the fire in Sylmar, one man said, “With these winds it can go in any direction!” No, it can’t. It can’t go in any direction. The wind is blowing south, which means the fire will travel south as well. Someone else asked how we’ll know when we need to evacuate. Evacuate from what?

During the Woolsey Fire, my neighbor told me he packed up his RV “just in case.”

“Just in case of what?” I asked.

“The fire.” He said.

The fire burning to the south of us? That’s the fire that you packed up your RV for?

Where There’s No Smoke, There’s No Fire

I don’t know if these people are new to the area, if they’ve never paid attention to the weather here, or if they just don’t understand how fire works. When the Santa Ana winds blow, they blow from the north and northeast. That means if fire is south or west of Simi Valley, Simi isn’t in any danger of burning. If the hills to the north or east of us are burning, then there is a danger to the city. There are no fires to the north of us. A clue is if the sky is blue, the fire ain’t coming toward you. The fact that there hasn’t been any smoke over Simi Valley all week should be reassuring that we’re not in any danger, I would think. I guess not.

I think it’s safe to say that we can expect disasters like this to happen with ever-increasing frequency and devastation in the coming years because we’re never going to get climate change under control. People don’t understand what climate change is or how to stop it because you can’t understand climate if you don’t understand basic weather patterns. Well, at least the rising seas will leave less land to burn.

The post Does That Look Like A Falling Sky? appeared first on Retro Active Lifestyle.