By the time I was paying for my groceries, she was standing right on top of me. She was close enough that someone could have thought that I was with this trio of freaks buying booze in togas. These were not college kids either. Well, maybe the daughter was, but the parents were way too old to be pledging a frat.

The most ridiculous part about the togas in public is that they were not elaborate costumes. There was no makeup, accessories, or even zippers or buttons. They were literally bedsheets wrapped around their bodies. They could easily have waited until they got to the party to don them. That they didn’t only proves that these are attention-seeking assholes. Look at us! They seem to say. We’re so fun and free-spirited that we wear our togas to the grocery store to buy booze on our way to our wild Saturday night toga party. Ask us what we’re up to. Please, please, ask us where we’re going.

No thanks; I already know where you’re going. Straight to hell, you pushy, self-involved cunts.

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